The other day Stormtrooper and I watched Temple Grandin. I put it in our Netflix queue ages ago and it finally arrived. I really didn't know what to expect from watching it, but I am glad I did. It was somewhat painful at times because you really saw the pain and awkwardness that people with autism face. As a parent of someone who has autism, this was particularly difficult because it makes you sad to think that this is what your kid is experiencing.
Temple didn't speak until she was four. J didn't speak until he was three. She ended up going to a boarding school because she got in trouble for hitting another child, but her mother, who seemed to be an advocate for Temple, said she never hit unless provoked. This has been something that has been a worry for us. We've often wondered what J would do if provoked by other kids and honestly the outcome could be disastrous. I think I've spoken about it before, but J's view of reality is so different from actual reality that he could think he was in danger, but actually be fine.
Moving on in the movie, Temple goes to college. She doesn't want to go, but her mother makes her. And honestly, I make J do a lot of things he doesn't want to do, and I hope he'll be a better person for it later on in life. There's a scene where Temple is upset because all the other girls have roommates, but hers hasn't arrived yet, so she has to be all alone in the dorm room. She's very upset by this. It was sad because these kids know they're not normal and while they're okay with it at times, other times they just want to be like everyone else. She knows she's different, yet she wants a roommate. All the other girls have roommates, why can't she? I have to answer questions like this frequently with J and sometimes I don't even have an answer that's adequate.
Temple is awkward in class but obviously thrives because she is so smart. I don't even think she realizes she is smart. J has no idea he is intelligent. He never studies, he half-asses his homework. He doesn't even attempt to look at his spelling words. And yet he has straight A's. I think last year, his end-of-year averages, when you took each quarter and averaged those grades, his lowest was a 95 in Reading. Hopefully this will continue to transfer the older he gets, but because he has no study skills and you can't teach him study skills right now, I have no idea what middle school and high school will bring. Since he is so resistant to things that don't make sense in his mind, trying to talk to him about studying would be fruitless. Why would he need to learn to study if he doesn't need to study? One day he might, and I guess I'll end up dealing with this later.
There's a couple points in the movie where Temple has to really think outside of the box. It's a pretty amazing feat to watch because autistic people are so literal and there's a scene where she changes cars, changes her new car's appearance, and changes her own appearance in order to gain access to a cattle farm because she's a woman and they don't allow women on their property. (I should probably preface all this by saying this movie took place several decades ago.) She is able to really think on a different level than neurotypical people which allowed her to design different and more efficient tools for the cattle/meat industry. She also said something that was very significant to me. She said that nature is already cruel and we kill animals to eat, but there's no reason why we have to be cruel to them. There's no reason why they can't die in peace. And I think that is very important. It shows respect to all living things and shows respect to those giving their lives for us, especially because these animals give their lives to us unwillingly, so it would be nice for them to be able to have a decent life and a decent death. So she incorporated that ideal in a slaughterhouse design that kept cattle calm and allowed them to die with some dignity still intact.
We watched that movie and thought, we hope for these things with J. We hope he's able to accomplish something greater. He is so smart and while he is oftentimes the most self-centered person I know, he has a lot of kindness in him that allows him to really shine and stand out. He always has ideas of things he wants to do when he grows older and some are realistic and others are not. He doesn't understand that he has autism yet. He knows he has it because we tell him, but he doesn't really understand what it means yet. Temple was able to grow to a place where she could advocate for herself. I want the same for J.
Maybe this is all like a glimmer of hope, a glimpse of what life perhaps could be for J. I want the best for him, as all parents do for their children, but sometimes in our dark days with meltdowns and tantrums it's hard to imagine that he would ever conquer those things enough to be self-sufficient and highly educated. Maybe he will surprise us all.
Temple didn't speak until she was four. J didn't speak until he was three. She ended up going to a boarding school because she got in trouble for hitting another child, but her mother, who seemed to be an advocate for Temple, said she never hit unless provoked. This has been something that has been a worry for us. We've often wondered what J would do if provoked by other kids and honestly the outcome could be disastrous. I think I've spoken about it before, but J's view of reality is so different from actual reality that he could think he was in danger, but actually be fine.
Moving on in the movie, Temple goes to college. She doesn't want to go, but her mother makes her. And honestly, I make J do a lot of things he doesn't want to do, and I hope he'll be a better person for it later on in life. There's a scene where Temple is upset because all the other girls have roommates, but hers hasn't arrived yet, so she has to be all alone in the dorm room. She's very upset by this. It was sad because these kids know they're not normal and while they're okay with it at times, other times they just want to be like everyone else. She knows she's different, yet she wants a roommate. All the other girls have roommates, why can't she? I have to answer questions like this frequently with J and sometimes I don't even have an answer that's adequate.
Temple is awkward in class but obviously thrives because she is so smart. I don't even think she realizes she is smart. J has no idea he is intelligent. He never studies, he half-asses his homework. He doesn't even attempt to look at his spelling words. And yet he has straight A's. I think last year, his end-of-year averages, when you took each quarter and averaged those grades, his lowest was a 95 in Reading. Hopefully this will continue to transfer the older he gets, but because he has no study skills and you can't teach him study skills right now, I have no idea what middle school and high school will bring. Since he is so resistant to things that don't make sense in his mind, trying to talk to him about studying would be fruitless. Why would he need to learn to study if he doesn't need to study? One day he might, and I guess I'll end up dealing with this later.
There's a couple points in the movie where Temple has to really think outside of the box. It's a pretty amazing feat to watch because autistic people are so literal and there's a scene where she changes cars, changes her new car's appearance, and changes her own appearance in order to gain access to a cattle farm because she's a woman and they don't allow women on their property. (I should probably preface all this by saying this movie took place several decades ago.) She is able to really think on a different level than neurotypical people which allowed her to design different and more efficient tools for the cattle/meat industry. She also said something that was very significant to me. She said that nature is already cruel and we kill animals to eat, but there's no reason why we have to be cruel to them. There's no reason why they can't die in peace. And I think that is very important. It shows respect to all living things and shows respect to those giving their lives for us, especially because these animals give their lives to us unwillingly, so it would be nice for them to be able to have a decent life and a decent death. So she incorporated that ideal in a slaughterhouse design that kept cattle calm and allowed them to die with some dignity still intact.
We watched that movie and thought, we hope for these things with J. We hope he's able to accomplish something greater. He is so smart and while he is oftentimes the most self-centered person I know, he has a lot of kindness in him that allows him to really shine and stand out. He always has ideas of things he wants to do when he grows older and some are realistic and others are not. He doesn't understand that he has autism yet. He knows he has it because we tell him, but he doesn't really understand what it means yet. Temple was able to grow to a place where she could advocate for herself. I want the same for J.
Maybe this is all like a glimmer of hope, a glimpse of what life perhaps could be for J. I want the best for him, as all parents do for their children, but sometimes in our dark days with meltdowns and tantrums it's hard to imagine that he would ever conquer those things enough to be self-sufficient and highly educated. Maybe he will surprise us all.
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