Behind me, J is doing is homework. It's 6:45am and when I went to look in his binder from school, I noticed he hadn't finished his spelling packet, which is due today, and he hadn't even touched his math worksheet. He also had a packet from last Friday of missed work that he hadn't touched.
When I asked him why he hadn't done his work, he said, "I didn't see it!" and threw his hands over his head, almost knocking over his bowl of cereal.
I didn't see it.
I have heard that phrase so many times. And it truly baffles me. The spelling packets are always the exact same exercises, in the exact same order, every single week. 4 pages (2 front and back). Unchanging. So the idea that one week he doesn't see a page that is always there makes me want to call "bullshit" on it. The same with the math. His math worksheets are front and back and labeled with the days, so that he gets his weekly homework at one time, but doesn't have to complete it until whatever day is written across the top. Again, it never changes.
This is where our fun world of autism really makes me stop and go "hmmmm." Because as much as this probably screams AUTISM to many people, to me I don't buy it. For someone who thrives on structure and consistency and rules, this homework should have been perfect for him. Structured. Consistent. Straightforward. No guesswork. And yet he can't complete it on time.
Because he didn't see it.
It's times like this that I truly struggle with autism. J gets so many concessions for having autism, so much is bent and conformed to help him through the day. I think because of all that we end up doing for him, when he just doesn't do his homework I get overly annoyed. I didn't yell or anything, but I made him sit down and finish it before the bus. I told him he doesn't get his pebbles for having a good morning and that he won't be able to play on his new tablet after school because he has to complete the entirety of the work he missed last Friday.
When he said he finished his homework last night, I believed him and I didn't double-check. It's exhausting double checking every aspect of the kids' lives. Chores. Homework. Bedrooms. Even smell checks after showers! Because we have two older boys who love to take soap-less showers (which is nasty, you're a boy, CLEAN YOURSELF PLEASE). So sometimes when I hear "I'm done with my homework" I take it for what it is, and don't check. If I had to check every single thing, I would never sit down and probably never sleep.
Things aren't all bad, though. J has had several practices for Academic Bowl, which he has seemed to really enjoy. He watches Jeopardy now that I record for him on TV and sometimes he gets the questions correct (which he really likes when he can answer before the contestant on the show). He's had a couple of golf lessons as well, which he is enjoying. I don't know if the golf will even go anywhere, but it is nice for him to be able to be exposed to something fun. He likes it. Even if he just stays on this level and does a few more lessons on this level, I am fine with that. Right now, it's not overly expensive and lets him experience something new. He will never be an athlete, but I do think sometimes that bothers him, that he can't throw or kick or run as well as the other kids.
J also won a tablet from school! He read the most minutes in the school Read-a-Thon! It's a great prize, although one that we have had to set many rules around because he does tend to get obsessed with things. He will focus on one thing and continually ask to do that one thing. Whether it's drawing or reading or playing his DS. That becomes the focus and he can't function doing anything else. So we are very careful with the things we let him do and try to break up the monotony of whatever it is he has become obsessed with. So now, the tablet is something that he has to pay pebbles in order to play on (unless it is to Skype with family members only) and I don't let him play on it every day. Which as much as that last part frustrates him, it also calms him. I've been in the world where he obsesses so much over something that he becomes unable to function unless he is drawing or reading or playing his DS. It's a scary world. And denying him those things or lessening the time he is able to do them, does seem to really help overall.
In other news, I took Little Iron Man to open studio at the local art studio last week. It's actually nice spending time with the kids one on one without the other one around. I think it helps them to feel special and he was in a really good mood the entire time we were there. He loves art, but he's not quite as good as J, so he never wants to draw or paint when J is around. He's starting to get really good at sports, throwing balls especially. He's still scared of catching because he doesn't want to get hurt by a ball, but I really think if we can convince him to actually play a team sport that he would thrive. And then he'd have his own niche to really excel at and help set him apart from J. They're just so close in age that often there is a bit of competitiveness that cannot be avoided. But when it was just me and him painting, he definitely had fun.
He wanted to paint Halloween pictures, and wanted me to join in on the fun.
