22. Three Weeks of Summer

When I went to pick J up from camp, one of the first things he said was, "Can you sign me up to come back next year?"  I was so happy that he had a great time.

He came back from camp ... different.  He came back happier and more talkative.  He's always been fairly talkative to me, but less so to my husband.  Of course, I am home all the time with him, and my husband works around fifty to sixty hours a week.

It's been a week since J has been back from camp and while he still has a debilitating fear of bugs, he didn't have any other tantrums.  He was a little hyperactive from time to time, but he listened and did his chores without complaining - sometimes even initiated his chores without me having to ask.

When we went to the park with his baby brother, he played with him on the playground very carefully.  He blocked any openings where he might fall, he steered him away from the slides that were hot (he even tested the slides himself first to see if they were too hot).  On the slides that were cool enough, he carefully helped him so he wouldn't fall off the bottom of the slide.

For a week, he didn't play his DS or on the PlayStation.  He didn't play with his Legos.  Instead, he spent an entire week spending time with me and his brother.  He did some arts and crafts with me while the baby slept, we watched the Lego Movie (more than once), and in general just spent time as a family.  Everything was relaxed and quiet.

When he was at camp, I know the counselors said his name and said hello every time they passed him.  I wonder how much of that came back with him.  He has certainly been much more open to saying "good morning" when he wakes up and "hello" when my husband wants in the door from work.  Whatever happened at camp that helped him to come back a happier person, I welcome it and am grateful for it.

For now, we have three weeks left of summer before school starts back.  We do get out before Memorial Day, but going back the first week of August seems really early as well.  I know I will be glad for school to commence, but part of me is really going to miss having the boys home all the time.  We will have to make the most of our three weeks and the little time we have left!

Kings of the Playground

21. Summer Camp

If there's one thing that most families with special needs kids don't have, it's an excess of money.  We're fairly lucky overall because J doesn't have any physical needs that require a lot of money, but we do pay for medications and therapies.  We buy things to help him cope better at home, and often end up spending our excess money on things to help balance the house out.  So when it comes time to look for summer camps, the ones geared towards children with autism tend to be outrageously expensive for our budget.

Then I got an email from someone in our autism group about a camp that only asks for $100 donation for a week-long sleep-away camp.  

Are they serious?!

We signed J up and he was accepted.  The activities are very stereotypical summer camp stuff: canoeing, archery, horseback riding, and they even have a rock climbing wall.  The big difference is that the counselor to camper ratio is extremely low, which will really help ensure J has a good time.  Whenever I sign him up for a neuro-typical activity, I always worry because what if the teachers/counselors/adults in charge don't know anything about autism?  What if J has one of his more violent tantrums where he screams and pounds on the floor or walls?  By going to a camp where every single adult there knows and understands autism will help not only ease my mind, but also ease J's mind.

He wants to learn archery.  That's all that he talks about, so hopefully they can help him learn.  It is something that I could see being a huge issue because if he can't hit the target then the situation has the potential for meltdown-mode.  Luckily, the camp should be completely able to handle any mishaps like that.

Our other big kid was not happy that J gets to go to camp.  He thinks it is unfair that he doesn't have autism.  But all he knows at his young age is that autism gets the ability to "cut lines" at Disney and go to fun camps.  He sees the tantrums and the hardships, but I think his young brain doesn't process it the same way we do as parents.  I can understand his frustration since he wasn't able to go to the same type of camp, but we still sent him to different camps - camps that may be harder for J to attend because of his special needs.

I feel like I need to process these thoughts regarding a child wishing they had ASD a little more in another entry.  It's rather disheartening to hear, but somewhat understandable.  It also goes back to my thoughts on making sure that your special needs child does not become the most important person in a family, and I think because J inevitably gets so much attention (albeit not always positive) because of his ASD that our other boy does not always feel as important.  From my eyes, I can sometimes see it, but other times it really frustrates me because he gets so much other focus.  On Mondays my husband takes him out to dinner, just the two of them.  He went to a camp - just him - that specifically I did not sign J up for.  We always reinforce the good things he does, and the things he is good at.

Anyway, I dropped J off at camp yesterday and he was very excited.  Which I know he was excited even though he showed no outward signs of it.  We had his bag all packed and ready, put it in the car, and drove the 50 minutes to camp.  We checked in, he got his temperature taken and answered a few regarding his medications, and then we walked to his cabin.  He picked out a bed and I helped him get his sheets on.  He brought his pillow pet, which he prefers to use as a pillow than a regular pillow, and his Star Wars sheets.  He gave me a hug and was ready for me to leave so he could have a good time and play!

I wasn't emotional dropping him off because I knew he was excited to be there.  I was very happy for him and very happy that he would get to have a normal camp experience surrounded by kids who are just like him and adults who have worked with autistic kids before.  We are very fortunate to have been given this opportunity.

Before he left, J picked out some notecards and I put addresses on them and gave him some stamps.  But if he doesn't write because he's having too much fun, I am okay with that!  I would rather him forget to write home because he's having a blast, but if I get to see a note from him then that will make me happy, too.

I still have three more full days before I go pick him up on Friday.  Here's to a great week at camp!

18. Top-Secret Vacation Day One

Last Thursday, May 29th, my stepmom (whom everyone calls "Grams") came to pick the boys up.  Her BFF was also there with her grandson, who is roughly the same age as our boys.  They went off to play while Stormtrooper and I got the boys' stuff together.  Unfortunately, I had a really bad cold, so I packed the boys' clothes and car-stuff together and my husband set it all up properly in the car while I took a quick nap.  We also had to pack Tiny's things because he stayed at my parents' house.

We got in the car, filled up on gas, and went to my parents'.  We exchanged Tiny for the big boys and started driving.  We told them we were going to a Star Wars event, but they've been to so many parades and things that they weren't upset about being in the car, or too inquisitive about where we were going.  

After about three hours, we asked them if they had any idea where we were going.  Once we finally told them we were going to Disney World, Iron Man got super exited and bounced up and down in the seat.  J was very neutral, as I expected he would be.  When I asked them if it was a good surprise, J said, "No, not anymore," since I had just told them.  Still, he was excited.  Later on in the vacation he told me that inside his brain he is excited and happy, but he doesn't know why his brain doesn't tell the rest of his body to express how his brain feels.  

We got to the hotel around 10pm Thursday, went to bed, and got up early the next morning for breakfast.  Stormy had to go to Hollywood Studios early since he was part of the parade.  The boys and I waited to meet some friends of mine who worked at Disney so we could spend the day with them.

The first Mickey we saw!

The boys in front of the lake while we waited for the ferry.

We took one of the ferries to the Boardwalk and the boys got to see parts of Disney before everyone was awake and at the parks.  I got to explain how different parts of Disney work, how some people stay in different resorts/hotels while they visit and how the buses, trolleys, and ferries work.  When we got back to Hollywood Studios, I went to Guest Relations.  I was originally so hesitant to use this because I always feel there are people who are so much worse off than we are, who need it more, but at the same time, I could envision meltdowns and sensory overload if we were in a line full of people.  Also, at the end of the day, J's hyperactivity kicks in because his medication wears off, and he starts to wander, starts to rock back and forth, flail about, and standing in line with people could have gotten really terrible if he started knocking into people because he cannot stand still.

We got the pass and I am really pleased we did.  The Disney cast member was very nice and helped with the whole process.  We ended up getting a pass that allowed us to wait for a ride without having to wait in the actual line.  Instead of waiting for two HOURS for the new Seven Dwarves ride, we were given a time to come back and bypass the long wait.  The staff is supposed to write down the time so that we would wait as long as the others in the actual line, but because there's always a small wait to get on the ride anyway, they usually wrote our return time for less than the stand-by line.  It was extremely helpful.  It allowed us to get something to eat or drink, visit a store, or wait in shorter, more manageable lines.  

At Hollywood Studios, we were able to use the pass for almost all the rides we wanted to go on, which was especially useful for the Toy Story ride, which always had a line longer than an hour.  Overall, J did really well.  He went on Tower of Terror (granted he said he never wanted to ride it again, but he at least gave it a chance).  My husband walked in the parade in the morning and joined us in the afternoon for the rest of the day, along with my seventeen-year-old niece who we brought to babysit the boys if we needed it.  

That day, everything went pretty smoothly.  We didn't have any meltdowns or complaining.  Both the boys were happy.  I did have to have a conversation about what Autism is with Iron Man; afterwards he looked at me with a glazed look.  I don't think he's ready to understand/accept anything about Autism yet.

We ended the day with fireworks and then we all went back to the hotel.  All in all, day one was a great success.

17. Vacation Vacation

School's out for summer!

This is the first weekend of no-school.  We let the boys stay up way too late the last two nights, and we didn't have them do any chores.  All they did was play, play, and eat.  

On the last day of school, there was the awards ceremony to help celebrate the kids' accomplishments in school.  Little Iron Man got one for attendance, one for being a star student, and one for A/B Honor Roll.  He has his own struggles, mostly with impulse control.  Sometimes he acts out for attention, and he certainly misbehaves in school way more than he does at home.  He is extremely intelligent, and I think his behavior definitely affects his grades at times, but overall, he is a very good kid, and we are certainly proud of how well he has done.

At school, the kids have to take Accelerated Reader (AR) tests on the books they read.  J got an award for getting over 100 AR points, which apparently is difficult to do when you're in third grade.  However, I'm not exactly super proud of that award.  I'm pleased, of course, but each quarter, the kids were given an AR goal and they had to reach so many AR points each semester.  J would see how many points he would need, find ONE book that would give him those points, read the book, take the test, and then wouldn't take any more tests the rest of the semester.  It's a backwards way to be really lazy.  The books he chose weren't necessarily easy books, and he had to read and absorb the books so he could get all the points for the test.  He loves taking shortcuts.  Or maybe he's really a genius in hiding.  I don't know.

He also got a penmanship award for having the best cursive in his class.  He told me he knew he was going to get that one because it was just "so obvious" he had the best handwriting.  I've heard this is strange with kids with ASD, but J's talent is art, and for as clumsy and uncoordinated as he is with everything else, he can draw.  He can't tie his shoes, but he can draw very intricate things.

As far as honor roll goes, J got the A Honor Roll for getting all A's for the entire school year.  So far  he has never gotten a B.  When we had the conversation about his grades, he was not really sure what a B meant.  We briefly discussed grades and averages (which he understood better than I thought he would have) and I showed him his report card, which had his averages for each semester as well as his end-of-the-year average.  He was really disappointed in his Reading grade (a 95) and upset that in the third quarter he got a 99 in science, which was the only quarter he didn't get a 100.  I told him if his lowest grade is a 95, then we really have nothing to worry about.  He was pleased that the stamp on his report card said he got to graduate to the fourth grade.  

Third grade brought on a lot of ups and downs.  There were a lot of changes, but I feel that it was a great year of growth.  We found a new therapist that we like, J started going to the gifted program at school, we found a parent autism support group that was coupled with a  social-skills club for kids with autism, and because of all these different things he has greatly improved as a little person.  I have received a lot of comments from his teachers, family, and friends regarding his behavior, his improving social skills, and the way he integrates his new coping mechanisms.  

Hopefully we can continue to help him learn and grow this summer.  Therapy is the only thing that will continue; the rest will pick back up with the start of the new school year.  We are very excited to see where this summer takes us.  

Well, in FOUR DAYS it takes us to DISNEY WORLD, so the rest of the summer probably won't even be able to compare!